Posts tagged ‘friendship’

Improve Your Relationships through Great Small Talk

Small talk is a big deal.  It’s how we turn strangers into acquaintances and turn acquaintances into friends.  It’s how we make others comfortable with us.  It’s how we sift out the unsafe people that we meet.

Women who gravitate toward same-sex attractions have troubles connecting on a small talk level; especially with other women.  I believe there are two basic reasons for this. The first is because we entertain a belief that we are too different and that the interests of other women won’t overlap ours. The second reason is that we tend to have personalities that lean towards emotionally charged conversation rather than what we would label, “superficial.” Small talk seems boring and shallow.  It is a necessary skill, however.  This article will help explain why it is important, and how to have enjoyable small talk, even with women.

I was a hairdresser for 25 years, so believe me when I say, “I know how to small talk.”  To hear the way some of us chatted up our clients you would think that the conversation was the service they were paying for, instead of the hairstyle. Why did we do it?  We did it for the same reason everyone else does:  To enjoy someone’s company, to pass the time, and to get to know one another. Continue reading ‘SMALL TALK: WHY IT IS A GOOD THING AND HOW TO DO IT WELL’ »

Emotional dependence is not a fun place to be most of the time.

It’s like a drug habit:  The addict spends only a fraction of his time high.  Most of the hours that he spends on his habit are wrapped up acquiring money, avoiding discovery, and wishing he were high.

Similarly, the undeniably pleasurable times spent with our delightful female friend are outweighed by hours of missing her, feeling guilty, dealing with conflict, worrying about offend her, or planning future conversations with her. Continue reading ‘WHY BOTHER OVERCOMING? (Emotional Dependency Series, Part 2)’ »

Are you worried about a relationship you are in? The presence of more than one or two of these conditions compels us to re-evaluate our relationship.  If there are more than four, definite action needs to be taken.

Are These Relationships All Bad?

The women that we let into our hearts are wonderful people!  Just because a relationship is emotionally dependent, doesn’t negate the fact that it meets legitimate needs!  Life is unbearable without connection. For many women, an emotionally dependent relationship is the only thing standing between her and complete despair.

Just like an empty belly, an empty heart will find a way to be filled.  An emotionally dependent relationship could be compared to Continue reading ‘IN DEFENSE OF EMOTIONALLY DEPENDANT RELATIONSHIPS (Emotional Dependency Series, Part 4)’ »

“You need to get yourself some boundaries, Girl!”

When I first heard these words, I realized that I had been on a self-defeating path for as long as I could remember.   I took some time the next day and drew diagrams to analyze where my interpersonal relationships had gone wrong.  It became abundantly clear to me that I had let certain people deep into my soul who had no business being there.  No wonder I had been so miserable!

Click MORE to see diagrams that might represent YOUR interpersonal relationships:


But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Heb 3:13

An accountability partnership is a group of two or more people who commit to support and encourage one another in the process of overcoming their shortcomings.  It has proven to be an effective tool in both secular and Christian circles. They reveal their weaknesses, temptations, sins and subsequent progress to one another on a regular basis.

What is it like to be in an accountability relationship?  Is it embarrassing?  Is it like the first time we had to change into gym clothes in the locker room?   Is it like when our little brother found our diary and read it to his friends?

Accountability isn’t like any of those things.

Accountability is more like cleaning out the closet and then putting all the junk on the curb.  Yes, some people may see the ridiculous things that we allowed in our house.  But at least they know we don’t plan to keep that trash around any longer! What a relief!

Continue reading ‘ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERSHIPS -Staying in the Light (part 1)’ »

“I don’t personally know anyone who has been in an accountability group. How do you do it?”

Let’s look at some options, use some creativity, and find a style that works.  There is no one style that works for everyone.  We will explore 7 different formats, along with their strengths and weaknesses.

Continue reading ‘ACCOUNTABILITY STYLES- Staying in the Light (part 2)’ »

There is a kind of touch that is good for us.  How do we get more of the good kind and keep ourselves safe from the dangerous kind?

This subject is such a powder keg.  If we are too touchy, then we risk being offensive or we risk the opposite extreme of being enticing.  We might find ourselves stirring up unmanageable feelings within ourselves or others. But we allow ourselves to be too touch-starved, then we create a dam of loneliness and isolation that can collapse our resolve to stay pure.

Continue reading ‘TOUCH’ »